A few days ago I posted a
funny image on my facebook on a guide to understanding introverts
. It got me thinking about the way I, as an introvert, interact with others.
I may be introverted but I'm not quiet. Actually, I can be obnoxiously loud especially while telling a story or explaining something really exciting. I also talk a lot. Sometimes too much, especially if I've been in environments where I don't get to talk too much.
I'm also not shy. I can talk to strangers, I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends.
Though there are times I need my downtime to recharge, I value quality time with people. My love language is quality time - I feel the most loved when I spend good quality time with my family and friends. Even if I've just met you but our time was well spent, I know I've made a good friend.
It's funny because even though my love language is quality time, and I value the quality time I do have with people, but because I need to be alone to recharge it takes so much out of me to get out there. I'm terribly bad at keeping appointments. If I'm supposed to meet you at 10am and I get up at 8:30am, I'll probably ask if we can meet at 10:30am so that I have enough time to sit around, 'charge' and then go out. I used to wake up at 6:30am to get to work for 8:30am even though my kids didn't come in until 9:30am. I needed that extra hour to sit around and do nothing before I interacted with them. Terrible habit and I'm thankful for the people that have been so gracious about it.
There are times that I use my personality as a reason to not be with people. If we're completely honest with ourselves it's daunting to be invested in others. It's draining, and at times, even burdensome. If I just want to avoid getting close with people, or if I'm exhausted, I always say, "I just need my alone time" so they know they're not the problem, but it's just the way I am. We've been conditioned to not talk about our feelings, so when someone does its tough to listen to. We don't validate's people's feelings as much as we should and that's could be why it's tiring listening to others.
But people should be worth sacrificing your comfort for - at least for an hour or two. This past week I learned of really devastating news regarding a very close friend of mine. Though I'm someone who thinks a lot, I avoid thinking of death and emotionally-charged things. I don't know how to think about those things. But this week I've been pushed to think of things I've avoided for a long time.
Time is precious, people can be with you one moment and gone the next, and that the people in your life should always be worth your time. Your time and your presence is a gift no one can ever give.
I'm an introvert, but it doesn't mean I don't like being with people. Give me a little nudge and reminder to get my hamster ball rolling.
