rise up and be thankful || faith

When I'm sick and tired I can enter into a place of self-pity, or enter His gates with thanksgiving.
There are times when I feel the heaviness of loneliness and want to take full control of it - this is when I need to give thanks. 

Life can be overwhelming with it's harsh realities and it's easy to allow them to consume me. 

This paralyzes me and I end up wanting to hide from everyone and everything. 

If we want to see change in our lives, we have to move. 

Rise up and be thankful. 

Find that place of thanksgiving - it is a place of life. 

Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name. Psalm 100:4

love must be sincere || faith

It's the last week of September. I don't know if time is going by fast or slow. Being back in school is a lot more difficult than I anticipated. When I was in my undergrad I had a lot of restless and sleepless nights. It's starting to happen again as I start to think about my projects and assignments. It's difficult also with photography because I'll go through my head with what I could have and should have done, but you can't rewind your day. You can't go back and find the people you randomly met to redo the shot.

With photojournalism it's all about timing. Am I ready for the possibilities of events that may happen? Am I bold enough to talk to strangers and dig a bit deeper into their lives? Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing, but as soon as I meet people and talk to them I find myself coming alive.

This morning I woke up and read Romans 12. Verse 9 states, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." Is this evident in every area of my life even my classes, my assignments, my projects? Am I giving it all that I am? Am I loving without any boundaries?

I can't do it on my own. I can barely love my friends and family sincerely, how am I supposed to do this with people I barely know, people in my class, and even my teachers that irk me? I'm becoming painfully aware of my inability to do anything without the power and love of my Daddy. I'm drained when I try to love others selflessly. I get hurt when I give and give.

For when I am weak, then I am strong. His grace is sufficient for me and I have no choice but to cling on to this. I feel that I'll be ruined if I live my life without it.

voice of hope || faith

Did you know we're at war? No one told me this, but when I look around me it's pretty obvious. We're caught up in a war where darkness seems to be winning. We can't go a day without hearing about some  sort of injustice and brokenness. 

We're fighting for hope in a very broken world. 

hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen

When we're faced with trials and tragic circumstances we have two options. We can either hope for the better or fall into the trap of hopelessness.

Hope perseveres. Hopelessness gives up.

Hope trusts. Hopelessness is skeptical. 

Hope leads to life. Hopelessness leads to death. 

I'm a pretty pessimistic person. I try to be very logical and realistic about the realities of life so it's pretty difficult for me to be positive when my seemingly unfair circumstances are constantly dancing in front of me. 


I have scoliosis and it looks like I'm not getting better. It's hard to hope when the realities of my x-rays tell me this is impossible to heal. 


I'm single and have been for my whole life. I feel like I'll never get married. It's better to sul about it than to hope I'll meet someone. 


I'm running in circles in regards to my career and I can't see anything practical in the near future. I'm at a tipping where maybe I should just settle for a safe job rather than go after my dreams. 


I like to protect myself from any disappointment. Isn't it better to prevent any further pain when you're already hurting? I like to think so. 

Yet, the message of hope seems to be telling me otherwise. I think of Jairus from the Bible. His daughter was dying and he comes to Jesus hoping that Jesus can do something. He was desperate. But while Jesus is on his way to see the girl, there's a roadblock. A woman, also desperate to be healed, touches Jesus and gets healed. Instead of continuing on with his journey, Jesus stops to communicate with this woman. If I were Jairus at this moment, I'd be so anxious and annoyed. I'd be so worried that with every passing minute my daughter would be closer to death. 


While this is all happening, someone from Jairus' house comes and says, "Your daughter is dead; do not trouble the Teacher any more." Voice of hopelessness. Voice of reality. What amazes me is how Jesus responds. On hearing this Jesus replies, "Don't be afraid; just believe and she will be healed." Voice of hope. 


What the? She's dead. She doesn't need healing! She's dead. That's it. It's game over. Jesus' words don't make sense. Jesus speaks hope against the voice of hopelessness. There's such a sharp contrast between these two voices. Jesus looks at the overwhelming odds and works against it. 


The enemy is constantly trying to overwhelm us with odds. What he's forgotten is that we are a people of living hope and truth. We don't live in reality and statistics, but we are fighting for hope. 


Listen and hear his gentle voice of hope. It's going to sound ridiculous. It won't make any sense. It might even make us angry. Hope wins against all odds. Always. Even when it seems like we're losing, his truth is always victorious. 


Who are you listening to? 

1 Peter 1:3  

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead

  

friendships || life

I'm going to try to make this as raw and unedited as I can. There are times for planned, edited, clean-cut pieces of writing and then there are times you just have to let it all go.

I'm 25 going on 26. I'm a quarter of a century years old. I still can't believe it. Through the past 25 years I've met hundreds of people with a handful remaining in my life. There are a few I can call my best friends. We're so close we're like family. Despite having such amazing friendships I still find myself so uncertain about how to be a friend and what it means to be a friend. In the past few days I'm discovery how much I've failed, how much I lack and how little I know in regards to friendships. BUT with that, I'm also discovering that I can redeem it all.

When I was in 8th grade we had one big final project in English where we had to make "HOW-TO" projects. We had to teach the class how to do something whether it was baking cookies, writing an essay, sewing clothes or whatever. I, being the odd one, decided to do my how-to project on how to be a good friend. It's been something I've always wanted to be good at and 'master', if that's possible. We're taught many things in life, but we're never really taught how to be good friends with those of the same gender, those of the opposite gender and those we want to eventually date/marry. We just did it. While doing friendship we're learning. 

I was bullied in 5th grade and from that moment I believed a lot of lies. I believed that I was disposable, replaceable, a nobody, unimportant, insignificant and a loser. It was with this mindset that I would enter into friendships. Any friendship that happened after 5th grade, I did with a sense of fear and precaution. Out of my fear I clung on to my friends and could not grasp the concept of two people drifting apart. 

15 years later and I find myself in friendships with that same mentality. Whether we've been friends for a few months or 20+ years I've allowed those lies to influence the way I related to you. 

Recently I've had close friends and God himself strip away these lies for me. I'm in awe that I'm 25 and I'm still figuring out what it means to be friends with someone. 

I'm learning....

- when a friend is having a tough time and they say "I'm fine" you don't give up but relentlessly ask and love them. this is not the time to think, "but she might get mad at me for bothering her". That's still YOU thinking about YOU. you pursue them even if they reject you

- when you make a commitment in a friendship, you work hard at it. it isn't based on location, how you feel, what you do or how much you talk at that moment. you fight for it. 

- I need to be raw and vulnerable without any fear of rejection or abandonment because a true friend sticks around when you're at your worst

- I am not what I was in the past and neither are my friends

- it is so important to be yourself. 

- if you're upset with someone, let them know, if you love someone, let them know, if you appreciate someone, let them know. 

- communication is so important! talk things through rather than make assumptions or live out of false realities that you created in your head

- even if you find yourself going on different paths, keep loving them. love perseveres

- to understand why people react and respond the way they do so I don't take things so personally

A few weeks ago a friend did something that hurt me. I took it personally and, being the extreme person that I am, I questioned our friendship. I thought, "if we're as close as we say we are he wouldn't have done that".  So I was upset and annoyed with this person, slept on that, woke up annoyed with this person and couldn't enjoy my time with them even though we had a fun day planned. Well, not only was he oblivious to my anger I was the only one affected by my anger. We ended up talking about it and turns out he thought that because we're so close he could do what he did knowing that it wouldn't affect our friendship. Funny. We processed the event in complete opposite terms that we were so clueless to what the other person was feeling or thinking. 

I don't have it all figured out. Only because of the amazing friends that God has placed in my life am I able to be a good friend. I'm in the process of figuring it out. 

It's scary being so vulnerable with your friends. You have to strip down, become undone and be unashamed of who you are. There are many times I want to cut and run so others don't see my failures and weaknesses. I want to protect myself and be friends at a safe distance. It doesn't work. That leads to isolation. You end up sitting in a pool of lies and a broken mindset. Friends are amazing for healing and restoring our true identities. 

Proverbs 27:5-6 

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

worship || faith

Everyone has their opinion of worship is. Worship goes beyond the music that's played for about 30 minutes at church. We know that. But this part of worship is SO significant to me. Worshipping with music that speaks to the soul has played a crucial role in the growth of my intimate relationship with the Lord. 

Tomorrow is the 3 day Jesus Culture conference in NY. I'm super excited for this time of refreshing and renewal. I don't believe that anyone should depend on these kinds of conferences to be renewed, but there's also something special when you're with thousands of others worshipping the same god. I'm praying for a deeper encounter with the Lord and for my current status-quo-like faith to be shattered so that I can have faith to do and live the impossible. I want this time of worship to fashion my heart into a Deuteronomy 5:6 heart; a heart that loves freely.

What does worship mean to you? Does music play a significant role in your life and how you relate to God?

Deuteronomy 5:6

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might

new faith || faith

Now that it's really warm out I feel my days are going by a lot quicker. This makes me excited but also sad at the same time. God is really doing a new thing, not only in my life, but I sense in your life as well. Every person I'm connecting with lately has this excitement that's hovering over them and it's because God is doing a new thing. 

I'm learning that God has a lot of new grace that he wants to pour out on me, but it'll only come when I'm ready to leave my old ways behind. 

I've been saying goodbye to a lot of my old habits, old thinking, old ways and old everything!

The old me loved to think, "out of sight, out of mind" but the new me says, "love those that are difficult to love; embrace them even more"

The old me thought, "do what you want to do and whatever will benefit you" but the new me rebukes that and says, "obey those that God has placed over your life; grow in true sonship and submission"

The old me complained, "why aren't things happening now?" but the new me is waiting and trusting. 

I feel God is gently, but powerfully, pushing me and encouraging me to go deeper in my faith in Him. I've been stagnant for a while and thought I had it all figured out since I was listening to good sermons, reading the right books and deeply involved with the church. God's saying, "leave it all behind and follow me". 

I don't quite know what's ahead, but that's ok! What's the point of having faith if I won't do anything BY FAITH. Faith isn't waiting to see the end result or signs and then making a decision. You have to make the decision to do something FIRST and then God shows the signs. Asking for confirmation and signs is more unbelief than faith. I'm going to live this new life with a new faith. Goodbye old faith, hello new faith. 

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

creative work advice || life lessons

This is amazing advice for anyone pursuing an area of work/interest pertaining to the arts/creativity. I feel like he's speaking directly to me where I am right now. I get frustrated with the things I create because it's not what I want it to be but I know what I what. I get frustrated with the lack of support and even encouragement to be a sub-par photographer, as if I can't do any better.

"It takes a while. It's going to take you a while. It's normal to take you a while. And you just have to fight your way through that."

May is a month of rest. Taking a break from doing and instead resting especially with photography. I know the video above says to do a lot of work, but right now I feel the need to rest.

As I prepare to go to school in the fall, I started to think about all the ways that I could be ready. I was looking into photography opportunities, internships, jobs and what not. Everyone's advice is to go out and do as much as I can on my own so that I can get a lot of experience. Sometimes when I look at how much other people have done in regards to photography, I feel really inadequate. I wonder if I should just go to school for something else that doesn’t require much work and get a job. But I felt like God has been telling me to be still and stay hidden. It doesn’t make sense because I should be equipping myself with photography skills and knowledge this summer, but God kept saying, “remain hidden”. 

Although I’m poor in the photography world and lacking in experience, I have the kingdom of God where I lack nothing. Though right now I don’t have any experience or any credibility in the photography world, I trust and believe that God is preparing heavenly riches for me that will be manifested in my future job. Though in the natural my situation looks pitiful and kind of pathetic, I am blessed from a kingdom’s perspective. 

After May, June will come and I can't wait to participate in the 30 Days of Creativity where I will push myself, create, make, and challenge myself in new and old areas of creativity. I'll start to do more with the blog, but at the same time it's SO nice out! I don't like sitting in front of the computer during the summer. 

Luke 6:20

Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.

what has authority over you? || faith

Last night I finished listening to a sermon that I had listened to way back in August. It was preached a week after I had come back from my mission trip to Bangladesh. I remember the sermon set me free in so many different ways but these kinds of sermons are also ones that you need to listen to every week. 

Pastor Erin ends the sermon with saying something that hit me like a bomb. What you allow your mind to believe is what you give authority to. More often than we like we give authority to our emotions, to our circumstances, to our body and everything else but the Word; the Word that is living and active, the Word that breathes live and the Word that sets us free. 

We tend to wait for our circumstances to get better, for our relationships to change, for our health to improve BEFORE we shift our minds to the Spirit. I entertain the thoughts of the flesh much more than the truth from above. 

I'm an escapist. If I don't like something I get away from it rather than stick it through. I'm known to giving up and being very nomadic. I can't stay in one place for more than 3 months so I'm already feeling antsy being here in Waterloo without anything fulfilling to do. 

Since things were getting boring and the excitement of being back home died off very quickly, reality hit me pretty hard. I wake up, babysit, eat, go home, sit on the computer, chat with a few friends and then sleep. Every so often I'll go for a walk, discover a new part of this city, chat with a friend over coffee, watch a movie or hangout at the park. I'm not saying my life is bad, but I guess all I could see was how uneventful it was. I was becoming really restless and wanted to run away and hide on some mountain.

After listening to this sermon and another one called All is Well I realized I had set my mind on the petty things. I could only see the bad in my life and felt pretty hopeless. My mind needed to shift to the things of heaven, to the joy set before me, to the love the is overflowing from my Father above and to the people God has blessed me with. 

What has authority over you? What is your mind set to? In order to experience the power of God in our lives we have to shift our minds first. 

Romans 8:5b

but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

chocolate milk || faith

The other day I was babysitting, as I have been almost every day this past month, when the kids asked for some chocolate milk. I used chocolate milk powder and cold milk. The stuff I used is normally for hot chocolate so it was really powdery even after violently stirring it for 10 minutes.
One of the boys kept saying, "Give it to me. Give it to me now!" even though I told him it wasn't ready. It took some time to mix it really well but the boy really wanted his chocolate milk. As he kept up with his demands I thought, "oh my goodness, do you really want to drink powdery milk that'll probably taste gross, make you cough a lot and be disappointed with chocolate milk forever?" I explained to him that if I gave it to him now it would be yucky so he had to wait. He sulked but complied and waited as I mixed. Finally I finished and he happily drank his non-powdery chocolate milk. 
While resisting the urge to be annoyed it dawned on me that I'm like this boy. 
I'm exactly like the 4-year old that didn't understand why he couldn't get his chocolate milk right away.
When I don't get what I want right away I get upset with God. I impatiently think, "I want it now! You told me you were going to give it to me so give it to me now!" I'm familiar with the concept of waiting as it seems to be the thing to talk, write and preach about. I know it's a discipline that's necessary for my own benefit in regards to the health of my spirit, soul, mind and heart. But you still can't help but think, "I want what you promised me RIGHT NOW" or you think you've waited long enough so you get restless and decide it's time to be given the promise. 
But do you really want half of the promise? Out of His great love for me He tells me to wait. It isn't about waiting but rather about his LOVE. If I wanted that boy to be quiet I would have given him really nasty powdery chocolate milk and gone on with my day. For his benefit I had him wait. Even though he was demanding, whining and getting worked up I asked him to wait because I knew what was the best for him. 
I know it isn't a new revelation to discover that my Father in heaven wants to give me the best, but it just didn't register with me until this chocolate milk incident. Whenever I meet a really awesome guy I think, "This is it. He's just what I wanted so God pleeeaaaaasseee let this work. You know me so I know you'll make this work for me." So far this hasn't been successful and I wonder what's taking God so long. But God doesn't want to give me second best or someone that isn't fully prepared and ready. 
We don't want to settle for gross powdery tasteless chocolate milk; the love of the Father is working on giving you the best. Wait for it because that's when you get the best and most tasteful and rich chocolate milk.

John 10:7b

 I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

too much noise || faith

As an avid Android user I was pretty excited when Instagram finally came out with an application for Android phones. Although I still have my reservations about it I was excited to be part of the instagram community. I don't like to be left out of things so it felt pretty awesome to finally join something the iPhone users were all a part of. 

BUT something didn't feel right. 

For the past two weeks I've been feeling really overwhelmed with the amount of social media networks I've become a part of. Facebook, twitter, blogger, pinterest, instagram, linkedin, tumblr and I'm sure there are other ones that I have unknowingly joined. Last week I was debating what to do with Facebook -- whether I should give it up for good or stay on. I understand the good things about it like how it lets you stay in touch with friends around the world and it's an easy way to share what's going on in your life. But the downsides of it outweigh the positive aspects of it. After having a few conversations with different friends I was leaning more towards entirely leaving facebook in order to re-discover some things I felt I had lost. 

It cheapens the way we communicate and relate to others. We all know that it can't ever replace real-life relationships but it's almost there. We no longer ask people what's new in their lives or take the time to retell our day to day lives because we've already shared it on instagram and on twitter. We have short attention spans since everything we read and look at can be done so quickly. Tweets are limited to 140 words, I can skim through all my friend's pictures from the day before in less than a minute and blogs are so easy to browse through because there's less words and more pictures (thank you to those who actually read all of this!) None of these are necessarily bad, but I felt my mind turning into mush. 

We're no longer investing in people around us, but rather hoarding in all kinds of information from everyone we're connected to without really knowing them. Real relationships take time and doing inconvenient things like driving to someone, calling long distance or skyping even when its 'not your thing'. The dissonance I was going through was bugging me so much that I knew I needed to do something soon. 

After reading Jeff Bethke's article on our addiction to activity, noise, facebook and twitter and listening to Pastor Christian's sermon called "Don't Get Robbed by Facebook" (which is REALLY GOOD and hilarious) I was convicted to really limit my use of these social networking websites. 

Here are some main points from the sermon that shed some light to the dangers of facebook and other similar websites. 

1. Facebook is addictive: somehow you lose track of time because of all the browsing you're doing through some unknown person's photo albums. The first free moment we have we get on facebook. It robs us of our TIME. Time for a confession - I was/am addicted! I wake up and turn on my phone, I check at least 10 times a day and stay on it for more than I should. 

2. Facebook is enslaving: It controls us more than we control it. I know I'd wake up and check facebook, lie down before bed and go on facebook, go on facebook while I'm on vacation, while working, while walking and talking and breathing! It was my master and this is foolishness. Technology is supposed to SERVE us, not control us. 

3. Facebook will rip you off and rob you without you knowing it: it robs you off peace, relationships and growth. As I mentioned before we're so used to retaining information really quickly that we're no longer reading books or having good conversations or resting our minds. I think this is how I've developed some mild form of ADD! 

4. Facebook can be deceiving: it deceives you that time is well spent on facebook and that you are more connected than ever before. These can be true in some ways, but more often they aren't true. You spend endless hours on facebook when you're supposed to be doing something else and you end up feeling more lonely even though you have thousands of friends

Obviously Facebook isn't inherently all these things but the way we use them has made it pretty dangerous. 

The sermon ends with a challenge to CONSECRATE Facebook through limiting how often you go on these websites. Through reading the Word and praying we're able to avoid the dangers mentioned above and ultimately have some control over these mediums. 

I think it's time for me to step away from all this noise and reconnect with hearing from the Lord as there are times He speaks in a still small voice. If it means readjusting to life without facebook it's ok because hearing from the Lord is more worth than my addiction to checking up on comments and notifications every 10 minutes.  

Am I the only one that feels like this? Maybe I'm just now falling behind as technology is advancing and want to resist all these changes. This is a sign of aging! 

1 Kings 19:12

After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

Raised Us Up || faith

It's a day to be happy. It's a day to celebrate! Ephesians 2:1-10 really captures well the essence of Easter Sunday. 

It's amazing that through Jesus' resurrection I am raised up with Christ and even seated with him. Notice how it's all past tense? It's finished. It is done and it's a truth I need to constantly come into agreement with. However, I cannot be raised up without dying. Dying to ourselves; a process to go through for those who have decided to follow Christ. It's not an easy process. It's usually one that we go through begrudgingly with a lot of resistance. 

Why do I keep fighting what is good for me? When I'm unwilling to die I devalue the victory of Jesus. Everyday I must align my heart and spirit with the truth that I am with Christ, that Christ is in me and I am not in this world. Have I been rejecting the reality of heaven on earth and in my life? It's a total paradigm shift to realize that I'm in the heavenly realms with Christ. It's exciting and makes this life so much more worth living for. 

Ephesians 2:4,5

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions

not defeated || faith

Christ was NOT defeated when he died, he paid our debt when he died! - Pastor Eddie Byun

Though Good Friday is the day that Jesus was crucified on the cross it is a day to celebrate. It wasn't a moment of defeat but rather a moment of victory. As Pastor Marcus put it, "Christ made himself vulnerable to the point of death to show himself invulnerable to the effects of it!" He died to defeat death. That moment wasn't a wasted one. It was precious and costly. It was the most important sacrifice. One that is still effective today. Traditionally it is a day to reflect on the cross but this is usually done with a heavy heart. I recognize the pain and suffering done on the cross, but it was for GLORY and GOODNESS. 

It's a victorious day for me. I can't help but rejoice when I think about the cross. All of that was done for me and for you so we can live in freedom; true glorious freedom.

Why else would it be good friday? Today is a day to be full of joy and thanksgiving to the beautiful work done on the cross.

As I write this I'm listening to And Can It Be, a beautiful hymn by Charles Wesley 

And can it be that I should gain

An interest in the Savior’s blood?

Died He for me, who caused His pain—

For me, who Him to death pursued?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Amazing love! How can it be,

That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

the love of a boy || life lessons

When I was in my final year of university I used to babysit after one boy every week. We'd play the Wii, play with his cars, go outside, play soccer and basketball. Andrew was a pretty stubborn and feisty boy, but eventually he warmed up to me. While I was away in Korea I received an e-mail from his mom with a recent picture of me and told me that he asked where I was. It surprised me to know that he still remembered me even though so much time had gone by. 

I went by his house yesterday to say hello and play with him. Children can sometimes be really unpredictable. I wasn't sure if he'd be shy, uncomfortable or friendly with me. As soon as I pulled up to their house I saw that he had run out without his shoes on and waited for me on the sidewalk. He stood there, waved and then gave me a really big hug. Later his mom told me that after dinner he was waiting by the window for me to arrive. With excitement he grabbed his baseball mitt, ball and bicycle so that we could play at the park.  

He didn't have any reservations when it came to loving me. Even though I hadn't seen him for a long time, he still loved me. His child-like love for me is something we all need. The love of this boy was so precious and real.

The older we get the more difficult it is for us to freely love others; to love others with a youthful excitement and without any fear. I don't like the idea of being vulnerable when I love others. I'd rather still protect myself by keeping up certain walls. Somewhere along the years I've lost my child-like faith and am always suspicious of people around me. 

I want to love like Andrew did. I want to be excited to see people and embrace those around me without any barrier. 

And I can't wait to meet a guy who'll run out to me without their shoes on, patiently wait for me and play catch in park with me.

Matthew 18:4

Therefore, whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. 

stop. relax. be bored. || life lessons

It's been about a week and a half since I've been home. In Seoul I was working every day, then on the weekend I'd either have a photo club meeting, be at church meeting or go on some random adventure. Arriving in Waterloo I was confronted with the sobering reality of unemployment. While working in Korea I was so excited for a break and now that I got it I didn't like it. I felt useless and often wondered what I was doing back in Canada where instead I could have been working and hanging out with my friends. 

I had to remind myself to relax. I had to be ok with boredom. Being in limbo is new and scary, but I had to come to terms with it. I put so much of my value and worth in everything I did that as soon as it was all gone I didn't know what to do with myself. When we're so busy we want to relax and when we have a lot of down time we wish for an adventure. Our hearts are never satisfied with where we are. I can fully attest to this. I have wander lust, I'm always restless and even when I get what I want I'm still never satisfied. 

These times of rest are so rare so I need to appreciate it. It's ok to be bored. During these times I can spend sweet, intimate times with the Lord, catch up with old friends, draw & paint, read what I want, and rest. 

In your week don't forget to stop. relax and be bored. 

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God.