Friday, March 1, 2013

excellent in love || life

I'm sorry I've completely abandoned this blog. The month of February was ridiculous. It was busy with school. I was emotionally detached and spiritually stalled. When I'm disengaged with God and with myself I find it hard to be engaged with people, with my photography and with writing.

When I'm disengaged with people I find that I'm barely getting by. I exist, I work, I eat, and sleep.
Put that on repeat and that's what February consisted of.

I wanted to do really well in my program in regards to all my assignments. I worked really hard but I think I had more failures than successes last month. I found myself wallowing in frustration because I wasn't doing as well as I wanted to

No one wants to fail. Failure and rejection are the two life experiences I hate the most.
I'm not sure if its the case with most people, but I like to believe that we all have this intrinsic need/want for greatness.
No one wants to be last. We're trained from a young age to win, be the best, aim for perfection and avoid failure. We don't want to be left behind.

I find it hard to balance my life -  I want to do great in this new world of photojournalism, which I blindly and ignorantly entered into,  but I don't want to completely abandon everyone and everything else.

If I'm going to be known for anything I want it to be something beyond my ability to take photos and tell stories. This is just a medium for me to connect with this scary world. This is simply a way for me to discover myself and the untold stories I stumble upon. This is my way into someone's life to love them, to bless them and to learn from them.

If I strive for excellence in the wrong areas I lose myself.

If you've ever read A Wrinkle in Time you'll know why love is the most powerful weapon, tool and medium to bring some change to this broken world. It's not my photography, it's not my writing or intelligence that'll change anything. It's love.

Love drives out fear and darkness.

When we love and we know we're love it compels us to without so much pressure.
Anxiety and fear cripple me when I try to be excellent as a photographer. It's tiring and not worth it.
But if I make every effort to love and that's all my life is marked by, I would be satisfied.

Without love I am nothing.

“If she could give love to IT perhaps it would shrivel up and die, for she was sure that IT could not withstand love.” 
A Wrinkle in Time


  1. We have those seasons in life where it seems like everything we do isn't good enough. But, Hannah, know that your drive and desire for excellence will go far beyond the assignments that you're faced with now. It's a gift you have for life! Your relationships & friendships won't go anymore...we're just rooting you on! :) I miss you! Let's have a vid chat soon <3

  2. I have not been as active on my blog this past month either. If God led you to this, he will give you strength and power to get through! 2 Timothy 1:7 is a great verse that someone told me this morning.
    I'm with Elysabeth, we're all still here for you!:)

  3. You got this girl, going through these seasons eventually makes us stronger--- because you realized you need to keep fighting. And echoing the comments before me, you have friends that aren't going ANYWHERE!!

    love you :)

  4. I want to give a hearty "amen" and hug you, because I'm so in a season of emotional detachment and numbness with God... it's definitely reflected in my lack of blogging as well.

  5. Hannah Love, you are always seem to supply the right kind of encouragement right when I need it. Thanks for the update, and know that you're not alone in this battle.

  6. I always love your honesty Hannah. There are such great ways to use photojournalism to bring the glory to God and I can't wait to see the path He brings you down.


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