Monday, April 30, 2012

Best Coast - The Only Place || music

This song makes it a lot harder to wait for summer to come. This song also makes it difficult to live in a place like waterloo. If only I had the money to up and leave this city and move to California. One day. I'll be there soon. 
from my trip in 2009. one month until I'll be in SoCal!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

fear of others || faith

This is an amazing post by Jesse Rice which was originally posted at Know Your Value

Dear Fear-Of-What-Others-Think,
I am sick of you and it’s time we broke up. I know we’ve broken up and gotten back together about a bazillion times, but seriously, Fear-Of-What-Others-Think (or FOWOT, for short), this is it. We’re breaking up.
Because I’m tired of over-thinking my status updates on Facebook, trying to sound more clever, funny, important. And I’m tired of wondering which Tweets might drive the most traffic to my blog, as though my value as a human being were truly numerical.
I’m tired of wondering which picture to post online so that my in-danger-of-over-expanding gut doesn’t hang out too much and cause others to think I’m a perfectly normal human being, God forbid. Or that I vacation not in Hawaii or Paris or rural Vietnam, but in central Oregon, if I can afford to go on vacation at all.
I’m sick of feeling anxious about what I say or do in public, especially around people I don’t know that well, all in the hope that they’ll like me, accept me, praise me. Those who already like me, accept me, and even praise me; those are the ones I’m constantly trying to keep happy. I run around all day feeling like a freaking Golden Retriever with a full bladder. Like me! Like me! Like me!
And I’m SO tired of feeling bad about myself all the time. Bad about how I look. Bad about my job. Bad about my net worth (which is currently quite RED in color). Bad about my 12-year-old car and my two-fashion-seasons-behind clothes. Bad about my prospects for wealth and fame and Nobel Prize-winning ideas. Bad about my community, or lack thereof.
Because of you, I go through my day with a cloud of shame hanging over my head, blocking the sun, keeping my throat sore and my nose consistently runny and my eyes all squinty like a newborn. And I HATE that.
Because when I’m afraid of what others think, I never stop acting. The spotlight’s always on and I’m center stage and I’d better keep dancing, posturing, mugging, or else the spotlight will move and I’ll dissolve into a little meaningless puddle on the ground, just like that witch in The Wizard of Oz. I can never live up to the expectations of my imaginary audience, the one that lives only in my head but whose collective voice is louder than any other voice in the universe.
And since I know I’m acting and since I know the spotlight’s always moving and since I know that in the bigger picture none of this matters a rat’s patootie, I’m never content to simply be myself.
And all of this is especially horrible, terrible, evil because if I really stop and think about it, and let things go quiet and listen patiently for the voice of the God who made me and delights in me, it turns out I’m actually—profoundly—precious, lovable, worthy, valuable, and even just a little ghetto-fabulous.
When I listen to that voice then your voice starts to sound ridiculous again. You turn back into the tiny, whining little wiener dog that you are.
So eat it, Fear-Of-What-Others-Think. You and I are done. And no, I’m not interested in “talking it through.” I’m running, jumping, laughing you out of my life, once and for all. Or at least, that’s what I really, really want, God help me.

{I'll add.. it's not even a fear of what others think but a fear of what others MIGHT think. Most of the time what I think they're thinking isn't true or even crossing their minds. It's all in my mind. This is the first step to getting over it. Recognize it. Abandon it. Break up with it!}

Thursday, April 26, 2012

21 days || my life

I've decided to take a social media break for the next 21 days. As I've mentioned before I'm getting overwhelmed with all this social media usage and I think I need a break. I'll still update my blog with my 366 project, but I think I need to take some time, read, write, take pictures, discover the city, relate to people I see or don't see without the noise of social media. I did this last year in September and it proved to be something of great value. I read more books and there's was much more peace. It seems that the less noise in your life means more peace.. duh! But it's hard to practically do something about it. 

I've found myself becoming pretty restless living here. Not to be emo or anything, but it's pretty tough when I don't have my closest friends nearby and I'm doing the same thing over and over again. I am really grateful for the people around me. I just don't have close friends here in Waterloo. Facebook also made it difficult to be in the present as I would look through pictures from people in Korea and wish that I could be there. It wasn't healthy so I've decided to take a break. 

This morning I woke up, the daily Bible reading was from 1 Timothy 4:1-10. Funny because the verse that Pastor Christian used in the Facebook sermon was 1 Timothy 4:1. Coincidence or not, I know this is a good thing to do for now and it'll be refreshing. I know there isn't really a need to announce it or declare to the internet world that I'm taking a break, seeing that it won't really notice, I just wanted you (my dear faithful readers) to know.  

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

missing JES island || my life

It's been about two months since I finished working at JES Island. I miss my kids a lot. I found all these pictures and videos that I never shared or even bothered to look through while I was in Korea. I was thinking, "Maybe I should go back and teach" but I don't know if any other group of kids would measure up to the kids I had. My kids were the best group of kids a teacher could ask for.
I found a lot more on my smart phone so look out.... there's going to be a lot of pictures and videos of them in the future :)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

gold bead bracelet || diy tutorial

This bracelet tutorial has been popping up on my pinterest boards lately. The bracelets simple and really cute. I have a tiny wrist so I can never buy bracelets. Nothing ever fits me! So this looked really easy and fun to do. Also I hate that I have so many DIY tutorials and ideas pinned but never actually do them, so I decided to take up this project and attempt to make it. 

This picture tutorial makes it look SO easy but it isn't! Or maybe it is for some people, but I'm going to assume that there are people like me out there that need more clear details. There weren't any readable instructions so there was a lot of guessing on my end. I decided to write out a basic tutorial with the aid of the pictures above and my own pictures that will be shown below! 

I couldn't find glass/metal buttons so I bought these plastic ones. They work just as well. I wasn't sure if I should have gotten the big or small glass beads but I decided to go for the bigger ones. The original tutorial probably used the smaller ones. It was still really difficult to put the string in with these big ones, so with the smaller ones it'd take forever!

The original tutorial wasn't very clear how you're supposed to tie the knot so that you end up with three strands instead of four. I took a picture of how to lay out your string so that you can tie the knot. First tie the knot, THEN cut at the bottom.

In the pinterest tutorial the braid is somehow magically done without the bracelet being attached to anything. Not that you can't braid without attaching it somewhere, it'll just be annoying. Trust me. A safety pin is a MUST. You have more control. Once you've attached it to something start braiding. DON'T attach it to your leg unless you want a back ache after. Attach it something higher if possible, maybe your couch, or curtain or something... but my leg was closest to me :)

THIS PART IS THE HARDEST. It looked so easy but once I started to put the beads on and braiding it started twisting around and getting messy. 
not my picture, just my instructions
It isn't as straight and neat as the original, but I think with a few more tries I can get it down. 

Through doing this I actually discovered how deceiving pinterest can be. You feel so accomplished because you discover a lot of really neat DIY projects but I wonder how many of us actually go out, buy the supplies and make what we've pinned. I'm guilty of collecting a lot of resources but never making use of them, so I decided to stop this foolishness and do something. It was fun and tiring but overall a good learning experience. I'll be making a few more since I have different colours. 

If you've tried it show me! Am I the only one that finds these DIY projects a bit difficult at times? 

366 catch up part 2 || project 366

{90/366 - smile Hudson}
 {91/366 - making train tracks}
 {92/366 - tiny shoes}
 {93/366 - sister and brother}
{94/366 - born ruffians}
{95/366 - baptisms}
{96/366 - monday night bowling}

I'm finally caught up! Anybody else out there doing a project like this? Whenever I fall behind I want to give up and scrap the whole idea but I told myself at the beginning of the year to not give up. If there's one thing I'm good at it's giving up. I could write a whole blog entry about that, maybe later, but I wanted to really change that about myself. 

These are a week's worth of pictures although I did miss a few days. These days I'm babysitting, hanging out with friends, helping out at church and slowly becoming a part of the city and it's daily happenings. I don't have a choice but to be here so I know I gotta muster up all that it's in me to enjoy it. There are some pretty difficult things about adjusting back to Waterloo but also some awesome things. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

the lion king || faith

source; edited by me
Back in February my pastor in Korea spoke on the movie The Lion King. I just watched it Sunday night and wanted to revisit what I had written 2 months ago and share it with some of you guys. There's such great symbolism in this movie. 

In the sermon Pastor Christian goes through the story and relates it to the gospel, to the truth about redemption and the work of the cross, to our true identities as kings, and to the nasty pathetic attempt of Satan trying to be king. All Scar did was kill, steal and destroy by using manipulation and lies. Simba KNEW that he was supposed to be king, but once that was taken away from him he couldn't believe that he was the king.

He lived in shame and fear with his fellow fearful and outcasted friends. Timon and Pumba live their life without any cares and responsibilities. It's easier to live without any responsibilities than to deal with the past and the things that caused a lot of pain to us. Simon was born to be a king but was deceived into believing he wasn't supposed to be one because of the lies had believed for so long. He believed he was guilty of killing his father, he thought he was unworthy and he had forgotten who he was. Mufasa says, "You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the circle of your life. Remember who you are" His father reminds Simba of who Simba REALLY is and Simba holds onto the truth of who he is and goes back to Pride Rock. 
The crazy Rafiki comes along and reminds Simba of who he really is. He says, "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it." The more we run away from our past the more we're stuck. We remain immature, childish and irresponsible. It's fun for a bit but it's not how we're meant to live. We're set free from our past when we face it and deal with it. Without knowing our identity we're always being controlled by lies. Lies that we're weak, we're guilty and we're useless. 
It's a battle to face the past. It's painful and, at times, really uncomfortable. It's easier to just say, "hakuna matata" and drown in the momentary fix-ups. This is unfortunate because we rob ourselves of walking out into our true destiny as royalty; as people with influence and power. As I've decided to face random bits from my past I've discovered that there's liberation in all of this. True and glorious freedom. In freedom you discover your passions, your gifts and your calling. 

This is such a great sermon! Listen to it here or watch it here.
I could watch this movie over and over again. After listening to the sermon and watching this movie I'm always reminded of my true identities as a royal daughter of Christ. The soundtrack is amazing, the colours in this movie are so vibrant and there's so many great messages in it. I say it's, hands down, the best Disney movie. 

Revelation 11:15
The seventh angel sounded his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, which said:
   “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he will reign for ever and ever.”

Friday, April 20, 2012

chocolate milk || faith

The other day I was babysitting, as I have been almost every day this past month, when the kids asked for some chocolate milk. I used chocolate milk powder and cold milk. The stuff I used is normally for hot chocolate so it was really powdery even after violently stirring it for 10 minutes.
One of the boys kept saying, "Give it to me. Give it to me now!" even though I told him it wasn't ready. It took some time to mix it really well but the boy really wanted his chocolate milk. As he kept up with his demands I thought, "oh my goodness, do you really want to drink powdery milk that'll probably taste gross, make you cough a lot and be disappointed with chocolate milk forever?" I explained to him that if I gave it to him now it would be yucky so he had to wait. He sulked but complied and waited as I mixed. Finally I finished and he happily drank his non-powdery chocolate milk. 
While resisting the urge to be annoyed it dawned on me that I'm like this boy. 
I'm exactly like the 4-year old that didn't understand why he couldn't get his chocolate milk right away.
When I don't get what I want right away I get upset with God. I impatiently think, "I want it now! You told me you were going to give it to me so give it to me now!" I'm familiar with the concept of waiting as it seems to be the thing to talk, write and preach about. I know it's a discipline that's necessary for my own benefit in regards to the health of my spirit, soul, mind and heart. But you still can't help but think, "I want what you promised me RIGHT NOW" or you think you've waited long enough so you get restless and decide it's time to be given the promise. 
But do you really want half of the promise? Out of His great love for me He tells me to wait. It isn't about waiting but rather about his LOVE. If I wanted that boy to be quiet I would have given him really nasty powdery chocolate milk and gone on with my day. For his benefit I had him wait. Even though he was demanding, whining and getting worked up I asked him to wait because I knew what was the best for him. 
I know it isn't a new revelation to discover that my Father in heaven wants to give me the best, but it just didn't register with me until this chocolate milk incident. Whenever I meet a really awesome guy I think, "This is it. He's just what I wanted so God pleeeaaaaasseee let this work. You know me so I know you'll make this work for me." So far this hasn't been successful and I wonder what's taking God so long. But God doesn't want to give me second best or someone that isn't fully prepared and ready. 
We don't want to settle for gross powdery tasteless chocolate milk; the love of the Father is working on giving you the best. Wait for it because that's when you get the best and most tasteful and rich chocolate milk.

John 10:7b
 I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

366 catch up part 1 || project 366

{78/366 - pizza}
{79/366 - ukelele and the chords}
{80/366 - going for a bike ride}
{81/366 - watching Bolt}
{82/366 - easter eggs}
{83/366 - veggies at the market}
{84/366 - eating Korean}
{85/366 - friends at the gorge}
 {86/366 - babysitting the boys} 
{87/366 - eating galbi}
{88/366 - going for a bike ride}
 {89/366 - food prep}
These are pictures from March 31st to April 14th. I really should be on top of posting a picture a day but I always forget to transfer my pictures from my phone or my SD card on a daily basis. I've missed a few days but I've been doing much better than I thought I would. 
As you can see a lot of food is involved. This summer I'll be cooking a lot more as we've discovered it's a lot cheaper and it's so fun when you're doing it with your friends. 

April is basically halfway done.. Let's finish strong! 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

too much noise || faith

As an avid Android user I was pretty excited when Instagram finally came out with an application for Android phones. Although I still have my reservations about it I was excited to be part of the instagram community. I don't like to be left out of things so it felt pretty awesome to finally join something the iPhone users were all a part of. 

BUT something didn't feel right. 

For the past two weeks I've been feeling really overwhelmed with the amount of social media networks I've become a part of. Facebook, twitter, blogger, pinterest, instagram, linkedin, tumblr and I'm sure there are other ones that I have unknowingly joined. Last week I was debating what to do with Facebook -- whether I should give it up for good or stay on. I understand the good things about it like how it lets you stay in touch with friends around the world and it's an easy way to share what's going on in your life. But the downsides of it outweigh the positive aspects of it. After having a few conversations with different friends I was leaning more towards entirely leaving facebook in order to re-discover some things I felt I had lost. 

It cheapens the way we communicate and relate to others. We all know that it can't ever replace real-life relationships but it's almost there. We no longer ask people what's new in their lives or take the time to retell our day to day lives because we've already shared it on instagram and on twitter. We have short attention spans since everything we read and look at can be done so quickly. Tweets are limited to 140 words, I can skim through all my friend's pictures from the day before in less than a minute and blogs are so easy to browse through because there's less words and more pictures (thank you to those who actually read all of this!) None of these are necessarily bad, but I felt my mind turning into mush. 

We're no longer investing in people around us, but rather hoarding in all kinds of information from everyone we're connected to without really knowing them. Real relationships take time and doing inconvenient things like driving to someone, calling long distance or skyping even when its 'not your thing'. The dissonance I was going through was bugging me so much that I knew I needed to do something soon. 

After reading Jeff Bethke's article on our addiction to activity, noise, facebook and twitter and listening to Pastor Christian's sermon called "Don't Get Robbed by Facebook" (which is REALLY GOOD and hilarious) I was convicted to really limit my use of these social networking websites. 

Here are some main points from the sermon that shed some light to the dangers of facebook and other similar websites. 

1. Facebook is addictive: somehow you lose track of time because of all the browsing you're doing through some unknown person's photo albums. The first free moment we have we get on facebook. It robs us of our TIME. Time for a confession - I was/am addicted! I wake up and turn on my phone, I check at least 10 times a day and stay on it for more than I should. 
2. Facebook is enslaving: It controls us more than we control it. I know I'd wake up and check facebook, lie down before bed and go on facebook, go on facebook while I'm on vacation, while working, while walking and talking and breathing! It was my master and this is foolishness. Technology is supposed to SERVE us, not control us. 
3. Facebook will rip you off and rob you without you knowing it: it robs you off peace, relationships and growth. As I mentioned before we're so used to retaining information really quickly that we're no longer reading books or having good conversations or resting our minds. I think this is how I've developed some mild form of ADD! 
4. Facebook can be deceiving: it deceives you that time is well spent on facebook and that you are more connected than ever before. These can be true in some ways, but more often they aren't true. You spend endless hours on facebook when you're supposed to be doing something else and you end up feeling more lonely even though you have thousands of friends

Obviously Facebook isn't inherently all these things but the way we use them has made it pretty dangerous. 

The sermon ends with a challenge to CONSECRATE Facebook through limiting how often you go on these websites. Through reading the Word and praying we're able to avoid the dangers mentioned above and ultimately have some control over these mediums. 

I think it's time for me to step away from all this noise and reconnect with hearing from the Lord as there are times He speaks in a still small voice. If it means readjusting to life without facebook it's ok because hearing from the Lord is more worth than my addiction to checking up on comments and notifications every 10 minutes.  

Am I the only one that feels like this? Maybe I'm just now falling behind as technology is advancing and want to resist all these changes. This is a sign of aging! 

1 Kings 19:12
After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

bent basket for bicycles || i want it

bent basket
bent basket
I was reading A Cup of Jo's blog and saw this. These are amazing wooden baskets for your biking adventures. I really want one now that I'm biking a lot more these days. It's perfect for going to the library or to the farmer's market. Since it's just me and my sister we don't buy a lot so this basket is PERFECT. Isn't it amazing?

If you bike do you guys have baskets? I wonder if there are other really neat ones out there. Let me know! If you find any good DIY baskets hook me up too.

Monday, April 16, 2012

a weekend of randomness || my life

Ah it's already Monday. It's already April 16th. I still can't believe about a month and a week ago I was leaving Seoul, saying goodbyes, crying on the plane and arriving to my family and friends here in Waterloo. Time is going by too fast and I wish I could slow it down. Every weekend has been pretty eventful making the months go by a lot quicker than I want them to. 

This past weekend was full of a lot of random things. Saturday I went to a craft show (Stitch 'n' Kitsch) here in Waterloo. There were all kinds of craft-makers  and artists there and it was pretty inspiring. I ended up buying a few cards and felt hearts. Not sure what I'm going to with them but I'm sure I'll find a use for them. I just really liked the mint colour. 

After that a few friends came over and we cooked dinner together. I'm a terrible cook but am always willing to learn. I didn't know what it meant to cut bias vegetables but learned this past weekend. Why say bias when you can just say diagonal? Then we went to a coffee house at a church to meet other young adults in the K-W area. After that I went home, decided to do my nails and discovered that I could watch Coachella live on youtube! I was ecstatic while watching Andrew Bird sing and play his violin. I didn't pay a dime and could see his face and the instruments up close. I know watching something on youtube doesn't come close to actually being there, but I was pretty satisfied with watching Coachella on youtube. 

Sunday was strangely a beautiful day. It was rainy in the morning but really warm. One of our associate pastors from our church was graduating with a MTS so we went to the ceremony. Two of my other friends were in the same class, so I was lucky to see 3 of my friends graduate together. The adventures didn't end with the graduation. Michelle, Jared and I decided to make a spontaneous visit to our friend in Stratford. We walked around the small town, chatted and ate good food. 

I love how a lot of what I did this past weekend wasn't planned ahead of time. I love spur of the moment hangouts and visits.  

Saturday, April 14, 2012

post-easter chocolate || my life

Easter is great for so many different reasons. The post-easter chocolate sales are one of them. My sister is in the midst of studying for her finals and she needed a break so we went to the grocery store to stock up on some chocolate. Some of it was pretty cheap like the mini-eggs and some if it was just straight up ridiculous. I think the rabbit one freaked me out the most! I didn't like looking at the bunny in the cage. I don't think we're supposed to eat the easter bunny, just the eggs it gives to us! 

I like chocolate but I think I'm more of a candy fan. So I can't wait for the post-Halloween candy sales! I only enjoy the Ferrero Rocher chocolate. My mouth gets really sensitive and it's not a pleasant experience when it comes to eating chocolate. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

ribbon sweater || i wear

//jacket - Tate (Korea)//
//scarf - Gap//
//sweater - basement shopping center in Seoul (Jonggak Station)
//jeans - UNIQLO//
//desert shoes - Toms//

The weather is being emotional right now. One day it's hot and sunny, the next it's all grey and gloomy and today was sunny but very cold! 

I'm still getting used to my new glasses. I'm not sure if they really suit my face. 

This is one of my favorite sweaters of all time. I bought it a while ago in Seoul at a subway station and fell in love with it as soon as I saw it. It's a comfy wool sweater but has all these cute little ribbons on it. I'm such an elitist sometimes. I love that it's a rare item. 

I really need to get a hair cut but I love the brown at the bottom. It gets really knotty even with conditioner. What should I do? I dyed my hair back in June 2010 and I  guess I've never completely cut it all off. Now I'm trying to grow my hair with a friend so that we can donate it. Since it looks awesome I'll keep it and just deal with the damaged knottiness. Any tips to make it less knotty?