freedom || life

photo by Michelle K

I'm still alive! I know it's been ages since I've been able to write, but remember when I mentioned that August would be marked by joy, intimacy and love? Those are the exact reasons why I haven't been able to blog. 

Only in freedom are we able to experience true joy, intimacy and love. Otherwise there's a lot of baggage and pain mixed in with all of it. A lot of the intimacy and joy that I've experienced was always combined with bitterness and grudges. Before this breakthrough of joy, intimacy and love I was really restless. There were a lot of battles going on in the mind which manifested in the way I spoke and interacted with others. I found myself getting annoyed and upset with people. Isolation sounded sweeter than community. I overworked myself so that I wouldn't have to see anyone or deal with any raw emotions. It was all a set up; a set up to break into a life of freedom. There's a cost to be paid for freedom, but it's worth it. Don't settle for a counterfeit freedom.

I feel so free. My family has experienced a lot of breakthrough as each member cleaned out their messy drawers without any fear of judgement. I'm experiencing restoration in broken friendships and even current friendships. Christ set me free for freedom. I know it sounds redundant, but I feel like I confused freedom with being a good and sound Christian. 

Christ died so that I would be free from depression, rejection, and confusion. Christ died so I can fully live in true freedom. Freedom isn't doing whatever I want, but no longer being under the bondage of darkness. 

I have so much more to share! It's the last day of August and I'm ready for September. September is a new month and the start to a new season. I have no idea what to expect. I'm leaving for school in 4 days. I've never done this kind of thing before -- go of to some small town, live with people I don't know, be at a school and city where I don't know a single soul. Terrifying, but exciting too. 

This blog, and each of you guys that read, are part of this transition. I may need you for encouragement and for words of wisdom. I may need you to simply read and support me. You've done an amazing job of supporting me and I'm so blessed that this blog has even come this far. I'm still so clueless as to what I'm doing with this blog but I'm comforted by every single reader and comment that ends up on this blog. Thank you! 

(Btw, please pray for my eyes. Another reason why I haven't blogged for so long is because my left eye got worse so things on the computer screen give me a headache and I can't afford an eye check up yet. I just need prayer for no headaches or dizziness. Thanks!)